Day 18 ~ The Fart Factor and Other Choice Bodily Functions.

'ello Me Loverlies

It has been a windy one today. In more ways than just the weather!!!

Anyone who has, or who has lived with or lives with someone with a digestion issue, knows there are some kinds of side effects. These side effects tend to come with an increasing interesting aroma, and thier own signature tune.

 Yeap I am today I am talking about every 10 year olds favourite subject:~ Farts. Or rather breaking wind if you are in polite society. In fact just about every place in the world and every school even every family have thier own names for them. A few of which I will list later just for giggles.

You have to remember that no matter when or where it happens it can highly embarressing, especially for someone who comes from a more "straight- laced" family. There is alot of bad press that goes with these bodily emissions and those who have issues with these problems tend to end up spending most of thier days hiding away from others. On the flip side of this however if you come from a more open minded and accepting family not to mention tolerant, you could find yourself in the situation of either spending half your life being giggled at or if you are lucky start a family after dinner tradition. This last one is more likely in a family of boys.

Whatever walk of life you come from, I don't care who you are, you have all done it. Those of us who live with the possibility of these eruptions throughout the day have learned mostly to have a sense of humour behind closed doors and tend to get mightily embarressed in public or in company, especially if it is a ripper.

My advice in these situations is this:~ Be thoughtful, caring, tolerant, and remember how you felt the last time you let a stinker rip in public. Don't let the person who did it feel bad or awful because trust me they already do. Get a few candles, light those or some incense or an oil burner but do it in such a way as not to show the person that they have offended. Trust me there is nothing you could make them feel worse than they are doing to themselves right now anyways. Oh yes and above all get a sense of humour and keep it.

Lets be honest here Farts are funny, they levitate some atmospheres far more than a stand up comedian because there is something still inside us from our childhood when all bodily functions were funny that makes us want to naturally giggle. So do it but not in a laughing at them way especially if they are very obviously upset by the fact it has happened. Please make light of it in any way you see fit.

NEVER embaress anybody on purpose. Apart from being completely nasty remember people have long memories and you leave yourself wide open from when it happens to you!!!

The following has been brought to you by www.fartnames.com Yes someone actually put together a site  naming names. In this list is the list of types of Farts, any other info click on the link and have a peek for yourself, sometimes it helps to find silly names to be able to find the funny side of a thing.

The Fart Name List

The Alarm Fart - This is a good fart for the beginner. It is easy to identify. It starts with a loud unnaturally high note, wavers like a siren, and ends with a quick downward note that stops before you expect it to. It sounds like something is wrong. If it happens to you, you will know right off why it is called the Alarm Fart. You will be alarmed. The alarm fart however is rare.

The Amplified Fart - This is any fart that gets its power more from being amplified than from the fart itself. A metal porch swing will amplify a fart every time. So will a plywood table,and empty fifty gallon drum, a tin roof, or some empty cardboard boxes if they are strong through being amplified in this way can be called an Amplified Fart. These are common farts under the right conditions. For example, if you're sitting on an empty 55-gallon steel drum.

The Anticipated Fart - This one warns that it is back there waiting for some time before it arrives. A person who is uneasy for a time in a crowd and who later farts at a time when they think no one will notice has farted an Anticipated Fart.

The Back Seat Fart - This is a fart that occurs only in automobiles. It is identified chiefly by odor. The Back Seat Fart can usually be concealed by traffic noise as it is an eased-out fart and not very loud. But its foul odor will give it away, due to the way air moves around in a car. It is often followed by someone saying, "Who farted in the back seat?"

The Barn Owl Fart - A familiarity with owl calls is helpful in identifying this fart. Almost any morning if you get up just before daybreak you can hear one of these birds talking to himself. It's a sort of a crazy laugh, particularly the way it ends. If you hear a fart that has about eight notes in it, ending on a couple of down notes, and it sounds maniacal, you have heard the rare Barn Owl Fart.

The Bathtub Fart - People who would never in their life know one fart from another, who would like to act like fart don't exist, will have to admit that a Bathtub Fart is something special. It is the only fart you can see! What you see is the bubbles. The Bathtub Fart can be either single or multiple noted and fair or foul as to odor. It makes no difference. The farter's location is what does it. Maybe there is a kind of muffled pong and one big bubble. Or there may be a ping ping ping and a bunch of bubbles. The sound I should point out depends somewhat on the depth of the water, and even more on the tub. If it is one of those big old heavy tubs with the funny legs you can get terrific sound effects. While one of the new thin ones half buried in the floor can be disappointing.

The Biggest Fart in the World Fart - Like the great bald eagle, this fart is pretty well described just by its name. This can either be a group one or a group two fart and can occur just about anywhere. I heard it one time, a group two identification, in a crowded high school auditorium one night, right in that silence that happens when a room full of people has stopped singing the Star Spangled Banner and sat down. It came from the back. There was not a soul in that room that missed it. A fart like that can be impressive. The most diagnostic characteristic of the Biggest Fart In The World is it size.Fart freaks who go around showing off, farting like popcorn machines, and making faces before they fart or asking you to pull their finger and then they fart, never have what it takes for this one, which is rare even among your most serious farter's.

The Bitburr: Sounds like just that--you're walking and the initial explosion "BIT!--" during one step is followed by a more gentle release of the rest of the volume during the next step: "brrrrrr..."

The Bullet Fart - Its single and most pronounced diagnostic characteristic is its sound. It sounds like a rifle shot. The farter can be said to have snapped it off. It can startle spectators and farter alike. Fairly common following the eating of the more common fart foods, such as beans.

The Burning Brakes Fart - A silent fart identified by odor alone. Usually and adult fart, occurring while the adult is driving a car or has a front seat passenger who farts. The Burning Brakes Fart actually does smell a little like burning brakes, and seems to hang around longer than most farts Which gives whoever farted a chance to make a big show of checking to see if the emergency brake has been left on. When he finds it hasn't you know who farted. A common automobile fart.

The Car Door Fart - Either a group one or a group two fart. Very tricky. It is meant to be a concealed fart. A matter of close timing is involved, the farter trying to fart at the exact moment he slams the car door shut. It is usually a good loud fart. It is one of the funnier farts when it doesn't work, which is almost every time. It is a desperation fart and not too common.

The Celestial Fart - Not to be confused with the Did An Angel Speak Fart, which is simply any loud fart in church. The Celestial Fart is soft and delicate, surprising in a boy or an adult. It is probably the most shy of all farts and might be compared with the wood thrush, a very shy bird. It does not have the sly or cunning sound of the Whisper Fart. It is just a very small clear fart with no odor at all. Very rare.

The Chicken Soup Fart: One day I had chicken soup for lunch at work and then stopped off at the gym after work. When it came on, I eased it out, covered by the gym's muzak. It smelled exactly like chicken soup. A few feet away some woman sniffed and said; "Is somebody cooking?" I had to turn to the wall to hide my laughter.

The Chinese Firecracker Fart - This is an exceptional multiple noted fart identified by the number, and variety of its noises, mostly pops and bangs. Often when you think it is all over, it still has a few pops and bangs to go. In friendly company this one can get applause. Uncommon.

The Command Fart - This fart differs from the Anticipated Fart in that it can be held for long periods of time waiting for the right moment. Unlike the Anticipated Fart, it is intended to be noticed. Harold Tabor recently held a Command Fart for the whole period in history class and let it go right at the end when the teacher asked if there were any questions.

The Common Fart - This fart needs little description. It is to the world of farts what the house sparrow is to the world of birds. I can see no point in describing this far any further.

The Crowd Fart - The Crowd Fart is distinguished by its very potent odor, strong enough to make quite a few people look around. The trick here is not to identify the fart but the farter. This is almost impossible unless the farter panics, and starts a fit of coughing or starts staring at the ceiling or the sky as though something up there fascinates him. In which case he is the one. Very common.

The Cushioned Fart - A concealed fart, sometimes successful. The farter is usually on the fat side, sometimes a girl. They will squirm and push their butt way down into the cushions of a sofa or over-stuffed chair and ease-out a fart very carefully without moving then or for some time after. Some odor may escape, but usually not much. Common with some people.

The Did An Angel Speak Fart - This is any loud fart in church. This fart was first called to my attention by my father. He probably read about it somewhere. For fart watchers who go to church, this is a good one to watch for as this is the only place it can be found.

The Dud Fart - The Dud Fart is not really a fart at all. It's a fart that fails. For this reason it is strictly a group one identification fart, because there is no real way you can identify a fart that somebody else expected to fart but didn't. It is the most private of all farts. In most cases the farter usually feels a little disappointed.

The Echo Fart - This is a fart that can be wrongly identified. It is not some great loud fart in an empty gym or on the rim of the Grand Canyon. The true Echo Fart is a fart that makes its own echo. It is a two-toned fart, the first tone loud, then a pause, and then the second tone. Like an echo.

The G and L Fart - This is one of the most ordinary and pedestrian of farts, known to everyone. Certainly it is the least gross. If you have not already guessed, G and L stands for Gambled and Lost. One of the most embarrassing of all farts, even when you are alone.

The Ghost Fart - A doubtful fart in most cases, as it is supposed to be identified by odor alone and to occur, for instance, in an empty house. You enter and smell a fart, yet no one is there. People will insist that only a fart could have that odor, but some believe it is just something that happens to smell like a fart.

The Hic-Hachoo-Fart Fart - This is strictly an old lady's fart. What happens is that the person manages to hiccough, sneeze, and fart all at the same time. After an old lady farts a Hic-Hachoo-Fart Fart she will usually pat her chest and say, "My, oh my," or "Well, well." There is no reason she should not be proud, as this is probably as neat an old person's fart as there is.

The Jerk Fart - The Jerk Fart is a fart by a jerk who smirks, smiles, grins, and points to himself in case you missed it. It is usually a single-noted, off-key, fading away, sort of whistle fart, altogether pitiful, but the jerk will act as if he has just farted the Biggest Fart in the World Fart.

The John Fart - The John Fart is simply any ordinary fart farted on the john. It is naturally a group one identification, with the sound, whatever it was, somewhat muffled. If it is all the person's trip to the john amounted to he will be disappointed for sure. Common as pigeons.

The Lead Fart - The heaviest of all farts. It sounds like a dropped ripe watermelon. Or a falling body in some cases. It is the only fart that goes thud. Except for the odor, which is also very heavy, it could be missed altogether as a fart. What was that, you might think? And never guess.

The Malted Milk Ball Fart - Odor alone is diagnostic and positively identifies this fart. It smells exactly like malted milk balls. No other food works this way. It is rare.

The Oh My God Fart - This is the most awful and dreadful stinking of all farts - a fart that smells like a month-old rotten egg - as the Oh My God Fart. If you should ever encounter it, however, you may first want to say, oh sh*t, which would be understandable.

The Omen Fart - This is the adult version of the Poo-Poo Fart. About the only difference is that the farter will not say anything. He will just look kind of funny and head for the john. This one is easy to spot if you pay attention.

The Organic Fart - Sometimes called the Health Food Nut Fart. The person who farts an Organic Fart may be talking about the healthy food he eats even when he farts. If he is heavily into health foods he may even ask if you noticed how good and pure and healthy his fart smells. It may smell to you like any other fart, but there is no harm in agreeing with him. He is doing what he thinks is best.

The Quiver Fart - A group one identification fart only. When you fart, it quivers. If it tickles, then it is the Tickle Fart. If you have to scratch it, then it is the Scratchass Fart.

The Rambling Phaduka Fart - You must not be fooled by its pretty-sounding name, as this is one of the most frightening of all farts. It is frightening to farter and spectator alike. It has a sound of pain to it. What is most diagnostic about it, however, is its length. It is the longest-lasting fart there is. It will sometimes leave the farter unable to speak. As though he has had the wind knocked out of him. A strong, loud, wavering fart, it goes on for at least fifteen seconds.

The Relief Fart - Sound or odor don't matter on this one. What matters is the tremendous sense of relief that you have finally farted. Some people will even say, "Wow, what a relief." Very common.

The Reluctant Fart - This is probably one of the oldest farts known to man. The Reluctant Fart is a fart that seems to have a mind of its own. It gives the impression that it likes staying where it is. It will come when it is ready, not before. This can take half-a-day in some instances.

The Rusty Gate Fart - The sound of this fart seems almost impossible for a fart. Is is the most dry and squeaky sound a fart can make. The Rusty Gate Fart sounds as if it would have worked a lot easier if it had been oiled. It sounds like a fart that hurts.

The S.B.D. Fart - S.B.D. stands for Silent But Deadly. This is no doubt one of the most common farts that exists. No problem of identification with this one.

The Sandpaper Fart - This one scratches. Otherwise it may not amount to much. You should remember that if you reach back and scratch, it automatically becomes a Scratchass Fart. Common.

The Shower Fart: These are a lot worse than bathtub farts, due to conditions of humidity and heat. George Carlin once said that you can tolerate the smell of your own farts, but shower farts are the exception to that rule.

The Skillsaw Fart - A truly awesome fart. It vibrates the farter. Really shakes him up. People back away. It sounds like an electric skillsaw ripping through a piece of half-inch plywood. Very impressive. Not too common.

The Snart: This is a fart that you succeed in suppressing so as not to not to offend, but then a sneeze jars it loose.

The Sonic Boom Fart - The people who believe in this fart claim it is even bigger than the Biggest Fart In The World Fart. The Sonic Boom Fart is supposed to shake the house and rattle the windows. This is ridiculous. No fart in the world shakes houses and rattles windows. A fart that could do that would put the farter into orbit or blow his crazy head off.

The Splatter Fart - Unfortunately the Splatter Fart exists. It is the wettest of all farts. It probably should not be called a fart at all.

The Stutter Fart - If you think stuttering is funny, this is a very funny fart. It is a fart that can't seem to get going. The sound is best described as pt,pt,pt-pt,pt-pt-pt,pop,pop-pop-pop-POW! It is usually a forced-out fart that gets caught crossways, as they say, and only gets farted after considerable effort.

The Taco Bell Fart - The Taco Bell Fart is far richer and full-bodied than your ordinary Junk Fart and takes longer to build up. Sometimes hours or even a day. But it will get there. And it will hang around after, too. Even on a windy day.

The Teflon Fart - Slips out without a sound and no strain at all. A very good fart in situations where you would rather not fart at all. You can be talking to someone and not miss saying a word. If the wind is right he will never know.

The Thank God I'm Alone Fart - Everyone knows this rotten fart. You look around after you have farted and say, "Thank God I'm alone." Then you get out of there fast!

The Tickle Fart - A group one only and one of the easiest to identify. Usually a slow soft sort of fart. If you like being tickled this is the fart for you!


Right I think that is quite enough about Farts for one evening. Jsut remember it is a natural function and can tell us how healthy our gut is, or isn't which ever the case may be. If you live with someone or are someone with a digestive issue take note of your farts. They may be an early warning to go see the Quack.

Until tomorrow

xox Love and Light xox  

Day 16~17 Himself having tests and me pretending to be brave for him.

Evening Loverlies.

Sorry I have been very lax the last few days. Between me giving myself food poisoning and Himself going in for tests at the hospital today the last few days have been bordering on chaotic. Not in the fun way either.

So due to the nature of tests that those of us with digestive issues love to have and quacks like to send us for there is alot of swallowing of nasty substances to make our bodies explode and remove everything from inside us. It is a joyous time for us and not one that we care to share with those we love. Quite frankly most of us tend to hide , somewhere near the vicinity of the nearest convenience and set up camp for the next few hours.

Note to loved ones of people with digestive issues having this treatment :~ Just make sure they are keeping up their fluids and haven't passed out from dehydration, or flushed themselves away. Clear fluids are allowed so make sure you have supplies of their favourites. I don't suggest getting bottles and bottles of soft drink, but it is included on the list and if it makes them feel better to have such a treat why the hell not !!!  This stuff tastes like a salty vanilla syrup so giving them something of a treat afterwards is a good thing.

Oh and make sure you have a good supply of soft loo roll, yes it is an extravagance but they will thank you for it, even if you just buy a 2 pack. The other option of course is to have wet wipes the kind for grown ups not for babies. Trust me they WILL love you forever if you sort out supplies.

In as much as your partner will probably tell you don't worry about eating in front of me, it is really hard to do that when you know they can't, might I suggest a cup of soup or something similar if you can't slip away from them long enough to grab something more. This will help belay any feelings of guilt and will help your peace of mind. You can't look after your partner if you don't look after you.

Be aware that your partner may not want to come to bed when you do. There are lots of issues here to consider.
1. Their embarrassment if anything happens in bed because they got their foot stuck in the blanket and they can't move fast enough. 
2. Nerves
3. Fear
4. Not wanting to keep you awake with their tossing and turning due to the 3 above points.

It is very hard as the partner of someone going through this not to have that "Are you ok" look on your face from the moment it starts. Thrust me all that will happen is that they will retreat further away from you and you will end up feeling guilty that they are hiding their true feelings and wellness due to you being too pitying. Or you will feel pushed away and then feel resentful. Save yourself the bother. When they are around show them the face you want them to see. Happy smiling you. Nothing creepy!!! Just you though. If you need to hide "the look" go to the bathroom or the bedroom and give yourself a minute to get yourself back together.

Give yourself some jobs to do around the place. Different people have different stress jobs. Here are the top ones in case you haven't decided on yours yet.

1. Cleaning ~ Many people tend to start cleaning or stress spring cleaning. Vacuum if you must or do the dishes on your own or something but don't start a full spring clean. You won't finish it and you will jsut get annoyed with yourself that you started.

2. Baking/ Cooking ~ Some of my best recipes have come about this way. However some of the most nasty accidents have been caused this way too. Watch your fingers and No deep frying!!! seriously your mind is elsewhere so if you are baking put on a timer.

3. Chopping Wood/ Gardening ~ Boy does this work off the stress energy. If you are lucky enough to have a wood fire get in some kindling and get the logs cut for your winter store. If it is winter and you aren't a baker or a cleaner try 4 or 5 they're warmer!!!

4. Play Video/Computer Games ~ There is nothing in this world like blowing up aliens for stress relief. I suggest not playing something you get frustrated by so no major thinkers just grab a game that you can zone out on.

5. Hand Crafts~ If you don't have one you do, try something new or try upcycling something you already have.

6. Running/Swimming/Sports/Exercise ~ If you are so inclined, run, jog, go for a walk, use a punching bag, swim miles whater is your thing, do it.

(This one is at the bottom because this is not my thing and not one that I would turn to EVER not even in a pinch!!!)

These things are all ways of keeping yourself busy. Well at least your hands busy if nothing else. Just for the record, keeping your hands busy does not mean busy on your partner. You do this and all your hard work goes out the window. Trust me you won't be having any for months if not years after if you try anything during this kind of trial.

Your partner as well will probably go into either hyper activity mode or curl up in their cave. Don't make them come out of it curl up on the couch with them and watch a movie. If that isn't an option just make sure they are fine and check on them once in a while, get on with your own stuff and let them deal with this their way.

Last thing in the evening, make sure your grab bag is ready, you know your bag of goodies to keep you occupied whilst waiting. That is if you don't want to grab a drink or anything. A grab bag is important, it will contain the things you do when there is lots of waiting to be done. If you knit or crochet or do hand stitching bring that. A book or magazine is always a good idea, change both for parking meters and a cuppa as most hospitals don't do change or card machines. Oh and if you smoke make sure you have everything you need. Hospitals don't sell them EVER!!! Trust me ... I have to smuggle them in or pinch them of the doctors if I get low!!!

Shush with your comments on that little nugget I let you in on!!! You can't give up everything all at once. Ask Charlie or Robert they will tell you the same thing!!!!

Anywho that is the low down on what to do for you and your partner when they are going in for tests. This is important. All of it. I might seem like I am making light but honestly it pays to be prepared and aware of what to expect and how to cope.

So anyways right now I am off to curl up with my Loverly Himself. Who by the way said the quack for very gentle and bought him brekky afterwards!!! He was a bit put out that normally it is dinner first, but in these circumstances who's complaining.

Until tomorrow

xox Love and Light xox

Days 14 and 15 ~ A weekend of contemplation

Hey there Loverlies

So this weekend has been a rough one. Somethimes recovery from such an attack can take some days. it truly isn't fun and anyone who says stupid things like, "you'll be fine", "get up and shake it off" or even "it can't possibly be as bad as all that", truly is lucky enough never to have experienced giving birth. Quite frankly that is what it is like.

Thankfully afrter a weekend of being banished to the couch and not eating anything I truly shouldn't I am definately on the mend. Now all I have to do is stop beating myself up about it. I am a grown person and I know better. However food like anything in life we get used to and to change it completely from what you are used to what youa ren't is like telling a 50 a day smoker to quite in the middle of thier first fag of the morning. It is not something that is done that easily.

Even Aunt Em in Spiderman 3 reminded Peter that the hardest thing to do is forgive yourself. It truly isn't that I find it hard to forgive myself, I just keep nagging  myself. Not something that ever worked for my "mother" you think I would learn from that!!!

Apparently not though. I talk to friends all the time and really let them have it when they neggie talk to themselves. You would think that it might be a bit easier to let myself off. However I think it is a bit like kids, we have all the patience under the sun for everyone elses kids but ours. We expect so much of them and ourselves because of the standards we set for ourselves and for them. This too is a lesson I have learnt over the last few years and it is a very hard one. I guess it is partly why I am so hard on myself because I bottle it all up and neggie myself into a corner until I find it hard to come out again. Seems to only happen every now and again but I think with everything that has happened over the last few weeks I really have let myself have it.

The problem is with that though it gets into the situation of you dragging up everything else that you haven't properly let go of, compounding the issue until you may as well crawl under a blanket and not come out because quite frankly that is all you are good for. That is of course until you wake up one morning and really snap yourself out of it.

Something I shall be sorting out in the morning I think. Right now I am sick of myself. Sick of being sick, sick of doing nothing, and sick of my head not working because it won't snap back into gear after the last couple of weeks, oh and to top it off staying in my pj's, letting the house go to pieces and not doing any work whatsoever for 3 weeks. Enough is Enough I say!!!

So in a few minutes I shall be returning to bed, and with any luck I shall wake up a new me. That is the plan, and I really do hope that it happens cos I really am completely sick of myself right now. I can well imagine you are too and you have every right to be.

So its off to bed for me.

Until tomorrow

xox Love and Light xox

   

Day 13 ~ Recovery Day and a Day I Didn't Let Myself Off Easily

Hey There Loverlies!!!

Today has been a serious recovery day for me, even though I spent half my day at the local charity shop which I do every Friday morning. I was going to give myself the day off but i decided that after the self inflicted state I had put myself in then I wasn't going to let myself get off that easily. I wanted to remember what it is like getting around in that state for the day, so that is what I did.

After not sleeping very well and finding it very hard to move all night because of the pain I was in, I got myself ready for the day. Unfortunately jsut before I was about to leave my body decided to really punish me and a change of clothes was required. And yes I still went in.

I was however really good for brekky and had some Choccy Soy Milk and Blueberries for Brekky and the only cows milk I had all day was in my coffee at work so not too bad.

Lunch was a salad sandwich with wheat free bread. The nice one. There are some AWFUL breads out there and for reasons that completely baffle me they are still on the market when these other breads are out there that have the taste and texture of wheat breads without the brick lining.

Anywho i have really taken it easy today and I am still recovering. In fact Himself has been trying to bounce me into bed to rest for the most part of me being home. In the next 10 or so minutes he will be getting his wish and I shall go and hide under the blankey and pretend like I am feeling much better so he will let me get up tomorrow. (Just kidding Hunny I know you are reading this!!!)

So was it worth the consequences, Yes it was. I know have a much better handle on things and a much deeper understnding of myself and just what my body is going through and I don't think i will be forgetting this one for quite some time to come.

So another step in the journey and a very steep and painful not to mention embarressing step or steps have been taken over these last couple of days.

Sometimes I think we have to learn the hard way before we really take things seriously. It's kind of like giving up drinking or anything else, there are always going to be bad days and days you trip up. However we all learnt to pick ourselves back up as kids and for the most part we learnt to run with our feet leaving the ground instead of scuffing our shoes with every step.

Oh and never forget to forgive yourself when you do. 

Until tomorrow

xox Love and Light xox

Day 12 ~ The Day Before Pay Day And A Lesson In Why I Am Doing This

 Hello Me Loverlies,

Today is the day before payday, and we well I am out of supplies. Not a good situation. Normally I would be ok after a week or two's detoxing off the meat, dairy and wheat to have a day where things could be a little more loose on the strings. 

Apparently not anymore. 

For anyone reading this for the first time. I have IBS. The kind of IBS that doesn't like it when you eat meat, dairy or wheat. In fact today it really hit home on how bad it has gotten. As I had run out of supplies and it is the day before payday, instead of being sensible and taking it easy and maybe hitting the soup I made a couple of days ago (even though it is boring to have the same thing a few days in a row) I made a spicy mince with cowboy pancakes. This mince was spicy enough Himself couldn't even cope. This was due in the most part to me accidently opening the cayenne in the wrong way (the dumper not the shaker) and not having anything to level out the flavours. 

I was going to just have a plain pancake .... but I didn't. Being the kind of person I am I gave Himself the plain one with homemade Blackberry Jam on it and me ... well I had the Spicy Mince and boy am I paying for it. 

I am now writing this desperately trying not to cry. I am also desperately trying not to curl up in a ball and sob like a little curl who has just had her favourite doll decapitated by an evil kid from down the road. (This actually happened so I know what I mean). 

I am going to get graphic in the next bit because this blog is about honesty. So if you can't cope with graphic detail. Go read the fluffy bunny bedtime stories instead for a minute and maybe come back tomorrow. I won't think any less of you. MWAH!!! xox 

My body rejected it all. In the most explosive of ways. In fact it is still rejecting it in the most explosive of ways. From top and bottom. My stomach feels like I am in the throws of labour and I am quite frankly feeling like I ate a side of pig. You know like on Man V Food. (Hideous Show by the way, vile waste of food and horrific example to kids). This is not fun and is my body's way of telling me "ENOUGH WOMAN!!!". Definately time to listen and take this alot more seriously than I might have been. 

In fact I have even gotten into my pj's because my gut is so bloated right now that my jeans which are 2 sizes too big, are actually tight now. So are my pj's which are big enough to fit not only me but Himself inside them. (Yes we tried and yes it was funny). This is a really bad sign. This means that I have a build up of something nasty, bordering on Skunk Butt which is normally Himself's department (He being a severe Chrones sufferer). This is something that will take at least 48 -72 hours to get better IF I completely detox on clear fluids for the next few days. 

So in an effort to try and be a bit more normal I have indeed put myself back BEFORE the beginning when I started this journey. In fact last time I was this bad I was admitted in hospital, however I refuse to go because I know what to do and now is the time to really be serious and do it. There is nothing they can do there that I can't do for myself here in the comfort of my own home and for alot less money and not taking up much needed resourses and without being pumped full of drugs. Which quite frankly I can do without. 

Since I took myself off all the drugs I was on for my back last year and 3 days later was off my crutches and able to walk straight again I have no intention of going back to taking 30 and up tablets a day to fix something that I could've avoided in the first place. 

So me now I am off to the living room to curl up with a mug of home made Nettle Tea with honey. I am going to jsut curl up and not move for a while and hopefully I can get rid of what I have done to myself without any more permanent damage. 

So until tomorrow

xox Love and Light xox

Day 11 ~ Being teased by snow again and I really don't want to eat salad!!!

Hey there Loverlies

TODAY IS FREEZING!!!! Yes yes it is and even snowed a little.... well pretended to anyway. The way I see it is if it doesn't settle it isn't really snow it's just pretty white rain. Yet again teased by the weather, the rest of the country is knee deep in it and we are looking as if we are in sub tropical somewhere else during rainy season (except for the cold).

Today I searched the house high and low and all that was in were 2 bags of salad. I have to admit in these lack of temperatures the last thing on my mind is a salad. So I had to get creative. For some weird reason it worked. The 2 bags of salad ended up as an amazing veggie broth soup. The colour of which was amazing. a deep magenta.

Even when I was working as a chef the only time I managed a colour like that was by an accident with a red cabbage (We will save that story for again I think). Don't you just love accidents. I do the best dishes always come out of accidents. I mean look at Bakewell Tart, an accident an amazing wonderful accident that is loved by everyone everywhere now to the point we can't even remember what it was she messed up in the first place!!!!

So anyway this soup I ended up with was incredible. Of course I added a few things to the salad, like onions and spices. All in all though it was basically what was in the bag because at the end of the day that is all we have in the house.

I am loving the fact I can have hot chocolate though. I am truly not sure I could get through this week without it. Home made Soy Milk is great for lots of things, coffee is not one of them. Also since it doesn't go well in tea and black tea is not something I have ever really picked up on except with honey. I am leaving it for the Hot Chocolate. I have seen that Almond Milk is readily available now so I might give that a go in coffee. I figure I like a bit of nuttiness in my Java so maybe this would be a good compromise.

Although you know what that means. It means that I am going to have to start making my own. Not such a bad thing I guess, except price wise. We shall see though how much they are wholesale and see if the price is comparable. Sometimes buying bulk straight from the wholesaler is the best way to go. Put a little aside each week or so and eventually you have enough to buy a big sack. then start again, or even work out what youa re going to buy in bulk and how long it will take you to get through it. Then make a rotating list and buy one large bag of whatever every week or fortnight or whenever you do your shopping. That way you cut down your outlay.

I have to admit I am looking forward to the day I don't have to worry anymore. Keeping the cupboards full has always been something that has tormented me for as long as I can remember after leaving home. Probably due to the kids. I never wanted them to go without. I figure I always thought that it didn't matter what else we didn't have as long as there was food on the table, everything else would come in time. I guess for me it was a measure of success as a parent, or even as an adult.

There have always been times when things were lean and this need to have the cupboards and freezers full became more obsessive. There have been times where the kids ate and I went without because that is what you do as a parent. So now being an adult and with only Himself's girls staying over every couple of weeks I am finding it terrifying again not having anything in the cupboards. Not as scary as it would be if they were over this weekend but scary enough. I find myself counting the days until pay day (Friday) and praying we can get through without the lights and heating going out.

If anyone tells you that things are getting better. Tell them to spend some time in the real world.

Ugh I am at it again....

I am going to stop this ranting now and go off and keep sewing my new rug cos my floor is freezing and I would like to feel my toes again really soon if that is ok

Have a fabbytastic day/evening

Until Tomorrow

xox Love and Light xox

 

Day 10 ~ Wow double figures!!

Hey there Loverlies ...

So we/I have made it into double figures. I have to admit it has been hard but this is a good sign... I think if it had been too easy at the beginning I don't think I would have coped with any issue had it come up later on.

So yesterday was really hard... no food I thought in the cupboard. Loads of meat and cheese and bread and all the things I can't have but none of the things I could. So bleak is definately a word I would use to describe it.

I did however come out the other side. I found some TVP "chicken" chunks and made myself a chilli "chicken" mix and had that with spicy potato wedges. I made it look and taste as similar as what Himself had as I possibly could so I didn't feel as I was eating something completely different.

I think the big turn around point for me was making myself hot chocolate. Yeap Homemade SSoymilk with Dutch Cocoa Powder and  honey and spices just hit the "Thankyou Goddess" spot. After that the evening went pretty well. Leading to a pretty damn good day to be honest.

Although I don't have any bread of my own in the house I have managed to survive eating the noggins of Himself's bread.  Thankfully. Cos I am a toast addict. Of course as soon as payday rolls around I will be getting my own. Until then I will cope.

I did end up remembering that I made some soup earlier this week and there was some left, which was a good job really since it is absolutely freezing out there right now. I am convinced it wouldn't feel quite so cold if it was snowing. However it isn't and it is freeezing !!!

Tonight Himself has rehersals for alocal play so I am here playing on Facebook and plaiting fabric to make a rug for our living room / craft group room. Oh you didn't know I work here too. Oh yesh I do I am jsut taking some time out until February 1st to get my head back together then it is all systems go. Including re-vamping my other blog.  Oh you didn't know about that one either ???

Well it's here The Bloo Pixie and it is the things we get up to in craft groups and all sorts of recipes we are trying out and such like. With a healthy amount of ranting as well because it kind of goes hand in hand with crafting. You know sitting around with your friends and setting the world to rights.

Anyway that will be coming back too. Will I be getting rid of this one??? Not on your life!!!! This blog is about a more personal journey that I am taking right now. It is here for those who are like myself forced into a journey of changing everything they know and love and dramatically changing the way we eat. It is about being a little beacon that says You are Not Alone!!!

Anywhooo enough of my rants ... I am off to go plait some more fabric. I really want to get this rug finished for the living room. Then I can start the one for the hallway.

Anyway today is a good day. It has to be because we can't allow ourselves to stay in the funk forever. The candles run out and you end up burning your fingers on matches.

Have a great evening/day
Until Tomorrow

xox Love and Light xox