The Skinny on Agave.

 Agave syrup or rather Agave Nectar is becoming more and more popular as a substitute for sugar. I wanted to know more about it so I did what every normal human being does and Googled it. 

The Blue Agave plant comes from Southern Mexico and has to grow at least 7-10 YEARS before it can be harvested and you thought Avocados were slow at 5 years !!! They are big spiky succulents very similar to cactus or Yuccas. Yeah not to be messed with 4 foot spikes can give you a nasty nip!!!

The Aztecs loved this plant and saw it as a gift from the gods... quite sensible really as it is amazing and EVERYONE is starting to use it now as a sugar substitute including Rawists as due to the low processing temperature it is classified as a raw food !!! 

Your friendly spiky Blue Agave plant 

Now the bit we are interested in for Nectar or syrup making is the Pina ... it's the bit that is in the middle of all of those loverly long spikes and is half buried underground as well. 

The Pina looks like this

Yes they are harvested by hand ... so start complaining about the price these guys don't earn a fifth of what's on that bottle !!! 

Have a chat to the poor donkey too who I can absolutely guarantee is paid in room and board !!! 

Agave Syrup is a bit like honey, it is less sweet though than honey and I have to admit I am quite grateful for that. 

For those of you who are a bit canny and might have put 2 and 2 together .. yes Agave is also the plant responsible for this .... yes you guessed it Tequila!!! 

its no wonder really when you have loverly fellas like this... lugging those things to the trucks by hand!!! 

the average Pina can weigh anywhere between 50 - 150lbs !!! that is a whole person !!!! or a pregnant skinny person !!! that's 2 whole people !!! (yeap my mind is still going off on a tangent !!!) 

Not content with being a substitute for sugar and the worlds most sung about adult beverage the humble Agave is also a medicine!!! Yes you read that right the Aztecs and locals have been using is as a skin balm to help itchy skin or mixed with salt as a poultice for open wounds for centuries !!! Modern medicine has found there is a very good reason for this as it has a wonderful ability to stop pus forming !!! yeap it got icky but hey anything that stops nasty open wound infections has to be a good thing. 

So there you have it the skinny on Agave, if you wish to know more then I suggest you do as I did and check out Google or better still you local library!!! 

What exactly is Carob ???

If you are anything like me you might have thought that carob was a more raw form of cocoa or something like that. Well guess what ... we were wrong!!! 

Carob actually comes from a completely different part of the world and is from a completely different family of plants !!! In fact Carob is a form of legume and Cocoa although called a bean by us is not actually a bean or a legume. 

Carob or  ( Ceratonia siliqua ) is native to the Eastern Mediterranean even the Middle East and has been cultivated for the at least the past 4000 years !!! Pretty impressive huh!!!

Carob is also known as the "locust bean" this is due to a misunderstanding as it was once believed that these were the locusts that John the Baptist ate in the wilderness. It turns out this isn't the case as John apparently ate actual migratory locusts. You know the giant grasshopper things !!! 

Seeds were used to weight gold, hence the word "carat." Mohammed's army ate kharoub , and Arabs planted the crop in northern Africa and Spain (Moors), along with citrus and olives.

Spaniards then carried carob to Mexico and South America, and the British took carob to South Africa, India, and Australia.

Carob can be grown anywhere Citrus grows well. So if you have a lemon tree why not try growing a Carob tree too. Nothing like having a form of choccy available to you to pick straight off the tree.

So there you go that is all about Carob. There is of course loads more to learn about it and all you have to do is ask Google. 

This is a Carob Tree

These are its pods

My First Sighting Of Vegan "Cheeses"

Today was a bit exciting for me today, I found vegan "cheeses" in Greenlife in Totnes. YAY!!!

This means that I can now experiment with them and see what I can come up with which could be quite exciting this weekend...

I'm thinking of trying out a recipe I have for Gluten-Free and Vegan Quiche with the creamy cheese and I'm not sure yet with the cheddar type. I think something that shows how it melts (if it does) and what can be done with it. I do miss cheese toasties I have to admit! I know it's boring but when you are stuck for choices you have to go with what you can make up as you go along.

Personally I think trying out the recipes that you miss the most is the best plan of action altogether. It's from those recipes that you can feel like you are eating the same as everyone else and not being different or left out.

I will let you know my progress and how I get on over the weekend.

Until next time

Remember leave the rabbit food for the rabbits and eat to live!!!

xox Pam xox

Hidden Traps in Your Pantry

Ok so we all know that being Gluten Free can be a right royal pain the the bum, what with having to watch every little thing, like bread and wheat and things in baked goods but what about everything else. What about the hidden things you don't even expect.

This is a list of some of the traps you will find along the way and hopefully you can look out for and be more aware of.

1. Sauces, Gravies and Marinades. 
This one is a bit mean, it is pure laziness on the part of the companies to add flour to these when cornflour or other thickening agent would work just as well and not affect the flavour or texture. There are those that aren't however most do. Read your labels carefully if you must use packet mixes or pre packed sauces etc.

Most basic sauces aren't that hard to make from scratch but if you really have no time then make double or triple batches when you do make them and either bottle them or freeze them depending on what you are making. There will be loads of recipes to choose from coming soon on here.

2. Stock Cubes and Powders
Although many are fine and say what they are on the box ... many arent. Hidden lactose, dairy and gluten are in those which we may hold most dear and have also come as a shock to me over the last few weeks.. please be careful. Do the reading and save yourself the heartache later.

If you cannot find a stock cube around you that is vegan and gluten free then make your own stocks. It isn't hard there is nothing to it and they can be kept sealed in bottles or frozen for when you need them at any time.  Stock recipes you will find soon on here to make life alot easier for you.

3. Packet and Tinned Soups
Again used as a thickening agent when companies don't want to use anything else. Of course there are the obvious croutons and pasta but most will have wheat as a thickening agent. 

I go camping too ... rather alot actually so I understand the need and want to take packet or tinned soups etc. or if you are busy and don't want the hassle of making one. Most soups take about 20-30 minutes to make and most of that you have walked away and are watching something on tv or whatever you feeling the need to do for that 20-30 minutes. Even if you do live alone ... even a 4 person recipe will keep you going for a few days if you portion it up well either in jars or in the freezer. There are very few packet soups that fit the criteria normally tomato is about the only one. but it has to be tomato and not cream of tomato. Really do read your labels and do your research though on this one. Remember though that a soup to make from scratch takes as long as your dinner to cook in most cases.

4. Breadcrumbs (obvious really) 
Yeap this one is a bit obvious the name is on the packet.

The best thing to do is make your own... any left over bread that you can have, if you want them dry then leave the crumbs out for a couple of days on a baking tray as thin a layer as you can make, mix them occasionally to make sure all of them dry out and then keep in an airtight container. It isn't much simpler!!!

5. Ready Meals and Processed Foods
When it comes to ready meals it is pretty much a case of it has a sauce on it or is cooked or has a dressing on the salad then be warned!!! You WILL need to read the label.

There are very few companies out there that will offer pre-made gluten free and vegan foods.  There a handful though but you need to look for them. Bloo and Perkle Foods is brand new and going live very shortly ... thier product base is limited at the moment but will be being expanded on a monthly basis.

6. Ice cream 
So how much do you like flavours like cookie dough or anything with crispy somethings in there thrown around for crunch, even some of the sauces as a thickening agent, even some soft serve icecream is not what it appears so if you arent sure or cant read the label dont go there.

Homemade ice cream is simpler than people think. And no you don't need all the gadgets. you can make a really good gluten free and vegan ice cream with a bowl a saucepan and a freezer container. Recipes will be popping up shortly on here. Keep an eye out.

7. Processed meats and pre-made meat products from the butcher 
Obviously if you are gluten free vegan you wont be worried about this one, unless you are just gluten free.  Sausages, meatballs, rissoles burgers etc are notorious for hiding breadcrumbs in them ... many butchers now have products without so please ask.

If you are just gluten free these items aren't that hard to make for yourself.  Honest they aren't I won't be putting recipes up for them unless really asked to as I can't eat them, If I do at any time it will be as a Which is Which? column. 

8. Veggie Meats
Many of us think YAY!!!! fakin' bacon ... when in fact this product has enough gluten in it to sink a coeliac battleship!!! Most of the veggie products out there are not only loaded with cheese or dairy or eggs but breadcrumbs and gluten based meat protein. Even the ones that aren't meant to be like QUORN!!!! There are a very small handful of companies that make gluten free and vegan products but you really really have to search.

9. Malt and Distilled Vinegar also some red wine and white wine vinegars
Pickled Onions and Chutneys for the most part are made using malt vinegar and distilled white vinegar. Malt vinegar is made from wheat and distilled white vinegar is the distilled version of malt vinegar. Although there are those (mostly the companies who make them ) that say that distilled white vinegar has all the gluten taken out of it during processing. However there are still those who have an bad reaction to it and as far as I am concerned better safe than sorry.

Red and White wine vinegars you can never be sure of. Unless they are specified that they are vegan then you can absolutely depend on the fact that they aren't. In one of the clearing processes wine is passed through finings which for many is blood and bone marrow, casein (milk protein), chitin (fiber from crustacean shells), egg albumen (derived from egg whites), fish oil, gelatin (protein from boiling animal parts), and isinglass (gelatin from fish bladder membranes. Bet that made you look at your bottle twice right ??? !!!!

Red and white wine vinegars are made from red and white wines so unless it says vegan on it ... it is pretty safe to say that it has at some point in its life gone through this clearing process. It is reasonably easy to make your own red and white wine vinegar from your own trusted brand of plonk. Instructions are all over the internet and the "mother" is extremely easy to buy online.

10. Beer, Whiskey, Bourbon, Southern Comfort. 
Again like the Malt vinegar these products are made mostly from wheat or barley.  There are companies now who make gluten free beer YAY!!! but be careful and no matter what the companies say about their filtration systems and distillation and using special enzymes blah blah blah ... bottom line if you aren't sure don't do it!!! in which case be a little careful of Cider as well as some companies use wheat in it for enzymes and flavour.

For me I tend to stick to what I know. If it is made from grapes ... you are safe (as long it says vegan on the bottle).... honey wines and mead ... safe .... if it is made from specialty seeds or grains it should be safe.... cider made by small local presses are more likely to be safe and if they aren't are more likely to tell you the truth than the bigger companies!!!

11. Salad Dressings. 
Used as thickening agents again so that oil and vinegar dressings tend to be look less split. Not a necessary additive but apparently some people don't know to shake their dressings.

All mayonnaise's are made using eggs, unless of course they have vegan written on the side.

12. Medicines
Check your medicines very very carefully, many are coated in gelatine or have egg white in them and many contain gluten as a thickening agent. double and triple check the ingredients of your meds and talk to your doctor. If they dismiss you find one that doesn't. At the end of the day if your meds are the only thing still making you sick you will need to find an alternative that you can take.

These are only a few of the hidden traps within your cupboards that you will use on a daily basis. Yes it looks hard... yes it makes things a little more difficult .. but you know what we are all on this journey together and maybe we can get through the other end wondering what all the fuss was about!!!

Some supermarkets are doing alot better with their own ranges now for example this is my lunch .. or part of it ...

This is the roast tomato and red pepper cup a soup from the Morrison's NuMe range not bad actually and not a grain of gluten or dairy in sight YAY!!!!

I do hope this might have helped a wee bit ... I know its a mine field I haven't been given the map either but I figure that between us we will draw our own map and find our way through the maze.

Until next time

Just because you cant have it doesn't mean you cant have it !!!

xox Pam xox

Gluten Free Grains

One of the hardest parts of being gluten free is working out the grains and cereals. Things you have eaten and taken for granted for a lifetime are things that no matter how it is worded or how manufacturers like to spin things is very serious and not worth the risk in many many cases.

Following will be a list of what you can have and those you need to stay away from. I start with the the best stuff first because I like to keep a positive look on these things.

First of all I would like to explain a little about cereals and grains and things. You know for you sciencey types out there and those that need or want more info.


Cereals
From Wiki

A cereal is a grass, in the monocot family Poaceae, also known as Gramineae,^[1] cultivated for the edible components of their grain (botanically, a type of fruit called a caryopsis), composed of the endosperm, germ, and bran. Cereal grains are grown in greater quantities and provide more food energy worldwide than any other type of crop^{[citation needed]}; they are therefore staple crops.
In their natural form (as in whole grain), they are a rich source of vitamins, minerals, carbohydrates, fats, oils, and protein. However, when refined by the removal of the bran and germ, the remaining endosperm is mostly carbohydrate and lacks the majority of the other nutrients. In some developing nations, grain in the form of rice, wheat, millet, or maize constitutes a majority of daily sustenance. In developed nations, cereal consumption is moderate and varied but still substantial.
The word cereal derives from Ceres, the name of the Roman goddess of harvest and agriculture.

In English for those of you who need it ....  It is the edible seed or grain from the grass family.

Cereals are carbohydrates good ones that contain awesome things like fibre for helping to move things along, also most of your B Vitamins, Thiamin, Riboflavin and Niacin the big ones for helping you gain proper good energy from food and keeping your skin and vision tip top. 

These are not to be confused with pseudocereals though, these are plants that are not cereals or grasses but can be used in the same kind of way.

Grains

From Wiki

Whole grains are cereal grains that contain cereal germ, endosperm, and bran, in contrast to refined grains, which retain only the endosperm.
 

In English ... there is no difference except some of them don't contain gluten ... simples right !!!

With all the fuss made on grains and cereals you'd think someone would have decided to use one word so we of Pooh Bear brain dont get so confuzzled but apparently not ... so anyway I will now give you the list of cereals and pseudo cereals we can use that are gluten free. In English I promise!!!

AMARANTH
Both leaves and seeds are edible. The seeds can be cooked like a cereal or added to soups to provide extra flavour and thicken.  Amaranth flour can be used like wheat flour or better still in a mix with other similar flours to make the best blend.

(Quick note) This wonderful plant has been giving Monsanto problems it is resistant to their pesticides so support this wonderful creation it is great.

BUCKWHEAT
The seeds are ground into flour or made into flakes. It is also sold crushed and hulled, mostly then known as Buckwheat Groats. The flour is great mixed with other flours to make a really good blend.

CHESTNUT
The nut from the Sweet Chestnut tree. Chestnut Flour is made from dried and pounded chestnuts. Chestnuts are traditionally roasted and pureed but there are many ways to add them to your meals.

CORN
Also known as Maize. Cornflour is used as a thickener and in flour blends as well. Polenta is Cornmeal and is made from ground maize. It comes in many different grades from fine to coarse.

MILLET
Millet can be used in the same way to rice. The grain is white, grey, yellow or red and is mostly toasted or mixed with other grains before cooking. Millet can also replace couscous very successfully. Millet Flakes are readily available and make good porridge. Millet Flour makes a good additive to others for flour blends.

QUINOA
‘keen wa’, is a pseudocereal it is higher in protein than other grains and is also good on the fibre side of things. Quinoa is a small round grain in lots of colours including pale brown, red, purple and black. It can be used like rice, as a side dish, in salads such as tabbouleh, or as porridge. Bread made from quinoa has a much higher antioxidant content to wheat bread. If you are a vegetarian , quinoa is an awesome source of protein and can be used as a meat alternative.

RICE
There are loads of different kinds of rice to choose from ranging from long grain to Arborio, Basmati and Jasmine. Each one is different and used for different reasons. Rice flour is used as an additive to flour blends or can be used on its own. It is also used for making rice noodles or as a thickener.

Wild Rice technically isn't rice it is a grass. It has a higher protein count than plain rice and takes a little longer to cook with a little more water. 

SORGHUM
It can be eaten like popcorn, cooked to make porridge, or ground in to flour. Also used in some processed foods as a thickening agent.

TEFF
A small grass seed from South Africa this little beauty comes in a rainbow of colours from white to dark brown.  It can be used in the same way as any other gluten free flour or cereal.

OATS
Now this one I have added in a separate colour because although it is naturally gluten free. many growers end up with fields contaminated with wheat or the oats in processing become contaminated themselves. There are good uncontaminated sources so make sure you look for them.  Double check with your suppliers and even if you have to spend a little more definately worth it.

Now for the not so much fun part but the part I'd be cutting out and keeping on my fridge and handing out to those who don't want to kill me when they feed me !!!

These are the cereals and grains you need to stay away from .. they all contain gluten and will cause ouchies should you choose to continue to eat them.

WHEAT in all its forms 
               SPELT
               KAMUT
               FARRO
               DURUM
               BULGUR
               SEMOLINA
               COUS COUS

BARLEY
RYE
TRITICALE


I do hope this has been helpful. I think everyone needs to have this list and if new things pop up then definitely add to it. 

Until next time

xox Pam xox   

Day 16~17 Himself having tests and me pretending to be brave for him.

Evening Loverlies.

Sorry I have been very lax the last few days. Between me giving myself food poisoning and Himself going in for tests at the hospital today the last few days have been bordering on chaotic. Not in the fun way either.

So due to the nature of tests that those of us with digestive issues love to have and quacks like to send us for there is alot of swallowing of nasty substances to make our bodies explode and remove everything from inside us. It is a joyous time for us and not one that we care to share with those we love. Quite frankly most of us tend to hide , somewhere near the vicinity of the nearest convenience and set up camp for the next few hours.

Note to loved ones of people with digestive issues having this treatment :~ Just make sure they are keeping up their fluids and haven't passed out from dehydration, or flushed themselves away. Clear fluids are allowed so make sure you have supplies of their favourites. I don't suggest getting bottles and bottles of soft drink, but it is included on the list and if it makes them feel better to have such a treat why the hell not !!!  This stuff tastes like a salty vanilla syrup so giving them something of a treat afterwards is a good thing.

Oh and make sure you have a good supply of soft loo roll, yes it is an extravagance but they will thank you for it, even if you just buy a 2 pack. The other option of course is to have wet wipes the kind for grown ups not for babies. Trust me they WILL love you forever if you sort out supplies.

In as much as your partner will probably tell you don't worry about eating in front of me, it is really hard to do that when you know they can't, might I suggest a cup of soup or something similar if you can't slip away from them long enough to grab something more. This will help belay any feelings of guilt and will help your peace of mind. You can't look after your partner if you don't look after you.

Be aware that your partner may not want to come to bed when you do. There are lots of issues here to consider.
1. Their embarrassment if anything happens in bed because they got their foot stuck in the blanket and they can't move fast enough. 
2. Nerves
3. Fear
4. Not wanting to keep you awake with their tossing and turning due to the 3 above points.

It is very hard as the partner of someone going through this not to have that "Are you ok" look on your face from the moment it starts. Thrust me all that will happen is that they will retreat further away from you and you will end up feeling guilty that they are hiding their true feelings and wellness due to you being too pitying. Or you will feel pushed away and then feel resentful. Save yourself the bother. When they are around show them the face you want them to see. Happy smiling you. Nothing creepy!!! Just you though. If you need to hide "the look" go to the bathroom or the bedroom and give yourself a minute to get yourself back together.

Give yourself some jobs to do around the place. Different people have different stress jobs. Here are the top ones in case you haven't decided on yours yet.

1. Cleaning ~ Many people tend to start cleaning or stress spring cleaning. Vacuum if you must or do the dishes on your own or something but don't start a full spring clean. You won't finish it and you will jsut get annoyed with yourself that you started.

2. Baking/ Cooking ~ Some of my best recipes have come about this way. However some of the most nasty accidents have been caused this way too. Watch your fingers and No deep frying!!! seriously your mind is elsewhere so if you are baking put on a timer.

3. Chopping Wood/ Gardening ~ Boy does this work off the stress energy. If you are lucky enough to have a wood fire get in some kindling and get the logs cut for your winter store. If it is winter and you aren't a baker or a cleaner try 4 or 5 they're warmer!!!

4. Play Video/Computer Games ~ There is nothing in this world like blowing up aliens for stress relief. I suggest not playing something you get frustrated by so no major thinkers just grab a game that you can zone out on.

5. Hand Crafts~ If you don't have one you do, try something new or try upcycling something you already have.

6. Running/Swimming/Sports/Exercise ~ If you are so inclined, run, jog, go for a walk, use a punching bag, swim miles whater is your thing, do it.

(This one is at the bottom because this is not my thing and not one that I would turn to EVER not even in a pinch!!!)

These things are all ways of keeping yourself busy. Well at least your hands busy if nothing else. Just for the record, keeping your hands busy does not mean busy on your partner. You do this and all your hard work goes out the window. Trust me you won't be having any for months if not years after if you try anything during this kind of trial.

Your partner as well will probably go into either hyper activity mode or curl up in their cave. Don't make them come out of it curl up on the couch with them and watch a movie. If that isn't an option just make sure they are fine and check on them once in a while, get on with your own stuff and let them deal with this their way.

Last thing in the evening, make sure your grab bag is ready, you know your bag of goodies to keep you occupied whilst waiting. That is if you don't want to grab a drink or anything. A grab bag is important, it will contain the things you do when there is lots of waiting to be done. If you knit or crochet or do hand stitching bring that. A book or magazine is always a good idea, change both for parking meters and a cuppa as most hospitals don't do change or card machines. Oh and if you smoke make sure you have everything you need. Hospitals don't sell them EVER!!! Trust me ... I have to smuggle them in or pinch them of the doctors if I get low!!!

Shush with your comments on that little nugget I let you in on!!! You can't give up everything all at once. Ask Charlie or Robert they will tell you the same thing!!!!

Anywho that is the low down on what to do for you and your partner when they are going in for tests. This is important. All of it. I might seem like I am making light but honestly it pays to be prepared and aware of what to expect and how to cope.

So anyways right now I am off to curl up with my Loverly Himself. Who by the way said the quack for very gentle and bought him brekky afterwards!!! He was a bit put out that normally it is dinner first, but in these circumstances who's complaining.

Until tomorrow

xox Love and Light xox

Day 13 ~ Recovery Day and a Day I Didn't Let Myself Off Easily

Hey There Loverlies!!!

Today has been a serious recovery day for me, even though I spent half my day at the local charity shop which I do every Friday morning. I was going to give myself the day off but i decided that after the self inflicted state I had put myself in then I wasn't going to let myself get off that easily. I wanted to remember what it is like getting around in that state for the day, so that is what I did.

After not sleeping very well and finding it very hard to move all night because of the pain I was in, I got myself ready for the day. Unfortunately jsut before I was about to leave my body decided to really punish me and a change of clothes was required. And yes I still went in.

I was however really good for brekky and had some Choccy Soy Milk and Blueberries for Brekky and the only cows milk I had all day was in my coffee at work so not too bad.

Lunch was a salad sandwich with wheat free bread. The nice one. There are some AWFUL breads out there and for reasons that completely baffle me they are still on the market when these other breads are out there that have the taste and texture of wheat breads without the brick lining.

Anywho i have really taken it easy today and I am still recovering. In fact Himself has been trying to bounce me into bed to rest for the most part of me being home. In the next 10 or so minutes he will be getting his wish and I shall go and hide under the blankey and pretend like I am feeling much better so he will let me get up tomorrow. (Just kidding Hunny I know you are reading this!!!)

So was it worth the consequences, Yes it was. I know have a much better handle on things and a much deeper understnding of myself and just what my body is going through and I don't think i will be forgetting this one for quite some time to come.

So another step in the journey and a very steep and painful not to mention embarressing step or steps have been taken over these last couple of days.

Sometimes I think we have to learn the hard way before we really take things seriously. It's kind of like giving up drinking or anything else, there are always going to be bad days and days you trip up. However we all learnt to pick ourselves back up as kids and for the most part we learnt to run with our feet leaving the ground instead of scuffing our shoes with every step.

Oh and never forget to forgive yourself when you do. 

Until tomorrow

xox Love and Light xox

Day 12 ~ The Day Before Pay Day And A Lesson In Why I Am Doing This

 Hello Me Loverlies,

Today is the day before payday, and we well I am out of supplies. Not a good situation. Normally I would be ok after a week or two's detoxing off the meat, dairy and wheat to have a day where things could be a little more loose on the strings. 

Apparently not anymore. 

For anyone reading this for the first time. I have IBS. The kind of IBS that doesn't like it when you eat meat, dairy or wheat. In fact today it really hit home on how bad it has gotten. As I had run out of supplies and it is the day before payday, instead of being sensible and taking it easy and maybe hitting the soup I made a couple of days ago (even though it is boring to have the same thing a few days in a row) I made a spicy mince with cowboy pancakes. This mince was spicy enough Himself couldn't even cope. This was due in the most part to me accidently opening the cayenne in the wrong way (the dumper not the shaker) and not having anything to level out the flavours. 

I was going to just have a plain pancake .... but I didn't. Being the kind of person I am I gave Himself the plain one with homemade Blackberry Jam on it and me ... well I had the Spicy Mince and boy am I paying for it. 

I am now writing this desperately trying not to cry. I am also desperately trying not to curl up in a ball and sob like a little curl who has just had her favourite doll decapitated by an evil kid from down the road. (This actually happened so I know what I mean). 

I am going to get graphic in the next bit because this blog is about honesty. So if you can't cope with graphic detail. Go read the fluffy bunny bedtime stories instead for a minute and maybe come back tomorrow. I won't think any less of you. MWAH!!! xox 

My body rejected it all. In the most explosive of ways. In fact it is still rejecting it in the most explosive of ways. From top and bottom. My stomach feels like I am in the throws of labour and I am quite frankly feeling like I ate a side of pig. You know like on Man V Food. (Hideous Show by the way, vile waste of food and horrific example to kids). This is not fun and is my body's way of telling me "ENOUGH WOMAN!!!". Definately time to listen and take this alot more seriously than I might have been. 

In fact I have even gotten into my pj's because my gut is so bloated right now that my jeans which are 2 sizes too big, are actually tight now. So are my pj's which are big enough to fit not only me but Himself inside them. (Yes we tried and yes it was funny). This is a really bad sign. This means that I have a build up of something nasty, bordering on Skunk Butt which is normally Himself's department (He being a severe Chrones sufferer). This is something that will take at least 48 -72 hours to get better IF I completely detox on clear fluids for the next few days. 

So in an effort to try and be a bit more normal I have indeed put myself back BEFORE the beginning when I started this journey. In fact last time I was this bad I was admitted in hospital, however I refuse to go because I know what to do and now is the time to really be serious and do it. There is nothing they can do there that I can't do for myself here in the comfort of my own home and for alot less money and not taking up much needed resourses and without being pumped full of drugs. Which quite frankly I can do without. 

Since I took myself off all the drugs I was on for my back last year and 3 days later was off my crutches and able to walk straight again I have no intention of going back to taking 30 and up tablets a day to fix something that I could've avoided in the first place. 

So me now I am off to the living room to curl up with a mug of home made Nettle Tea with honey. I am going to jsut curl up and not move for a while and hopefully I can get rid of what I have done to myself without any more permanent damage. 

So until tomorrow

xox Love and Light xox

Day 11 ~ Being teased by snow again and I really don't want to eat salad!!!

Hey there Loverlies

TODAY IS FREEZING!!!! Yes yes it is and even snowed a little.... well pretended to anyway. The way I see it is if it doesn't settle it isn't really snow it's just pretty white rain. Yet again teased by the weather, the rest of the country is knee deep in it and we are looking as if we are in sub tropical somewhere else during rainy season (except for the cold).

Today I searched the house high and low and all that was in were 2 bags of salad. I have to admit in these lack of temperatures the last thing on my mind is a salad. So I had to get creative. For some weird reason it worked. The 2 bags of salad ended up as an amazing veggie broth soup. The colour of which was amazing. a deep magenta.

Even when I was working as a chef the only time I managed a colour like that was by an accident with a red cabbage (We will save that story for again I think). Don't you just love accidents. I do the best dishes always come out of accidents. I mean look at Bakewell Tart, an accident an amazing wonderful accident that is loved by everyone everywhere now to the point we can't even remember what it was she messed up in the first place!!!!

So anyway this soup I ended up with was incredible. Of course I added a few things to the salad, like onions and spices. All in all though it was basically what was in the bag because at the end of the day that is all we have in the house.

I am loving the fact I can have hot chocolate though. I am truly not sure I could get through this week without it. Home made Soy Milk is great for lots of things, coffee is not one of them. Also since it doesn't go well in tea and black tea is not something I have ever really picked up on except with honey. I am leaving it for the Hot Chocolate. I have seen that Almond Milk is readily available now so I might give that a go in coffee. I figure I like a bit of nuttiness in my Java so maybe this would be a good compromise.

Although you know what that means. It means that I am going to have to start making my own. Not such a bad thing I guess, except price wise. We shall see though how much they are wholesale and see if the price is comparable. Sometimes buying bulk straight from the wholesaler is the best way to go. Put a little aside each week or so and eventually you have enough to buy a big sack. then start again, or even work out what youa re going to buy in bulk and how long it will take you to get through it. Then make a rotating list and buy one large bag of whatever every week or fortnight or whenever you do your shopping. That way you cut down your outlay.

I have to admit I am looking forward to the day I don't have to worry anymore. Keeping the cupboards full has always been something that has tormented me for as long as I can remember after leaving home. Probably due to the kids. I never wanted them to go without. I figure I always thought that it didn't matter what else we didn't have as long as there was food on the table, everything else would come in time. I guess for me it was a measure of success as a parent, or even as an adult.

There have always been times when things were lean and this need to have the cupboards and freezers full became more obsessive. There have been times where the kids ate and I went without because that is what you do as a parent. So now being an adult and with only Himself's girls staying over every couple of weeks I am finding it terrifying again not having anything in the cupboards. Not as scary as it would be if they were over this weekend but scary enough. I find myself counting the days until pay day (Friday) and praying we can get through without the lights and heating going out.

If anyone tells you that things are getting better. Tell them to spend some time in the real world.

Ugh I am at it again....

I am going to stop this ranting now and go off and keep sewing my new rug cos my floor is freezing and I would like to feel my toes again really soon if that is ok

Have a fabbytastic day/evening

Until Tomorrow

xox Love and Light xox

 

Day 10 ~ Wow double figures!!

Hey there Loverlies ...

So we/I have made it into double figures. I have to admit it has been hard but this is a good sign... I think if it had been too easy at the beginning I don't think I would have coped with any issue had it come up later on.

So yesterday was really hard... no food I thought in the cupboard. Loads of meat and cheese and bread and all the things I can't have but none of the things I could. So bleak is definately a word I would use to describe it.

I did however come out the other side. I found some TVP "chicken" chunks and made myself a chilli "chicken" mix and had that with spicy potato wedges. I made it look and taste as similar as what Himself had as I possibly could so I didn't feel as I was eating something completely different.

I think the big turn around point for me was making myself hot chocolate. Yeap Homemade SSoymilk with Dutch Cocoa Powder and  honey and spices just hit the "Thankyou Goddess" spot. After that the evening went pretty well. Leading to a pretty damn good day to be honest.

Although I don't have any bread of my own in the house I have managed to survive eating the noggins of Himself's bread.  Thankfully. Cos I am a toast addict. Of course as soon as payday rolls around I will be getting my own. Until then I will cope.

I did end up remembering that I made some soup earlier this week and there was some left, which was a good job really since it is absolutely freezing out there right now. I am convinced it wouldn't feel quite so cold if it was snowing. However it isn't and it is freeezing !!!

Tonight Himself has rehersals for alocal play so I am here playing on Facebook and plaiting fabric to make a rug for our living room / craft group room. Oh you didn't know I work here too. Oh yesh I do I am jsut taking some time out until February 1st to get my head back together then it is all systems go. Including re-vamping my other blog.  Oh you didn't know about that one either ???

Well it's here The Bloo Pixie and it is the things we get up to in craft groups and all sorts of recipes we are trying out and such like. With a healthy amount of ranting as well because it kind of goes hand in hand with crafting. You know sitting around with your friends and setting the world to rights.

Anyway that will be coming back too. Will I be getting rid of this one??? Not on your life!!!! This blog is about a more personal journey that I am taking right now. It is here for those who are like myself forced into a journey of changing everything they know and love and dramatically changing the way we eat. It is about being a little beacon that says You are Not Alone!!!

Anywhooo enough of my rants ... I am off to go plait some more fabric. I really want to get this rug finished for the living room. Then I can start the one for the hallway.

Anyway today is a good day. It has to be because we can't allow ourselves to stay in the funk forever. The candles run out and you end up burning your fingers on matches.

Have a great evening/day
Until Tomorrow

xox Love and Light xox